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The Christmas Overdose and Toys That Should Never Be Made

Do you remember that great feeling you got on Christmas when you were a kid?  I do and, since the reveal of the great Santa mystery, that feeling has been gone.  Personally, Christmas has never been my favourite holiday, but still I can’t help wonder if the lack of Christmas spirit is throw a lack of trying.  That’s way this year I’ve invented something called The Christmas Overdose, which is when you overdose on Christmassy things; movies, books, music, traditions, etc.  So I thought it’d be fun to bring my writing into the overdose, which is why today I’ve prepared five really bad gift ideas.  These are five toys that don’t exist and we’re lucky they don’t.  I made the pictures myself so I’m almost positive you won’t see them on shelves this year.

Convertible cars and dream houses don’t pay for themselves.  During the day Barbie may be cruising around town with Ken, but at night she works that pole in her very own strip club.  Other toys can look, but if they touch Ken will show them the door.

With the overcrowding in Sylvania having a baby is a tough decision, but sometimes it can’t be helped or can it.  Since the introduction of the Sylvanian abortion clinic, unwanted pregnancies and overpopulation are things of the past.

Re-enact all your favourite moments for World War II with this new Lego World War II set.  Lego Hitler is included.

Will you or your friend manage to get lucky for times in a row?  This is a fun two player game that half of the contestants can play again.

If you’re bored of simply drawing a stickman on a page, then why not add some excitement to the game by bringing in this enlightened new element.  Risk yours or other people’s lives, if you’re nervous get grandma involved (it’s probably almost lights out for her anyway).

Naturally I discourage anyone from actually trying to make these games.  I’ve been a bit worried about offending people, but hopefully I didn’t.  It’s all intended as a joke, but do let me know what you thought, even if it’s bad, by leaving a comment and voting below.  Also don’t forget to subscribe/follow and click the like button.  If you want to follow me on Twitter it’s https://twitter.com/#!/AdamODwyer1.

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4 responses

  1. Amy

    They are all really good games. I think the russian roulette one was the best. Wait and see they will all be on the market next year

    December 22, 2011 at 11:40 pm

    • Nearly a full year later and fortunately your prediction has yet to come true, maybe this year I’ll do a sequel to this post.

      October 19, 2012 at 10:30 pm

  2. Sylvanian Fan

    Sob.There is NO sylvanian abortion clinic its just a clinic

    October 13, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    • Sorry if I offended you, but I think we can all be glad that none of these toys are actually on the market.

      October 19, 2012 at 10:29 pm

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